


Schrodinger's Horndogs

by littlemisstpk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, POV Outsider, Training Camp, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, handjobs, locked in a room, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 14:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20210923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisstpk/pseuds/littlemisstpk
Summary: The Second Generation Third Gym has to deal with both Hinata and Tsukishima's ridiculous pining during the week long summer camp.Written for Tsukihina Week 2019 Day 1: Locked in a Room and Training Camp





	Schrodinger's Horndogs

_"... that until the box was opened, the cat was both alive and dead." - Schrodinger's feline paradox_

* * *

It was a sweltering Tokyo summer afternoon, and Lev was steadily getting more and more annoyed by his rather undersized friend from the country.

“He’d be much easier to deal with if he wasn’t so hot. I mean, have you looked at him at all?” Hinata dramatically sighed to punctuate the statement. 

Lev grunted a non-committal agreement as he caught Inuoka rolling his eyes behind him.

It wasn't like Lev had place to judge about complaining and being generally enthusiastic about life. In fact, he swore that he still had bruises on his ass from the amount of times Yaku had kicked him into a becoming passable Nekoma-style player, and he had graduated months ago. It also wasn’t the fact that Lev liked guys as well; he just liked them older, shorter, and definitely feisty, much like Yaku.

Lev looked over Hinata’s shoulder to find Inuoka with an evil gleam in his eye and a volleyball raised above his head, poised to strike the shorter boy.

* * *

Akaashi was startled from his practice rally with Tsukishima at Hinata’s rather loud squawk from the opposite side of the gym. If there was one thing that he really appreciated about quiet Karasuno blocker, it was the fact that he could focus on the game without interrupting his own semi-peaceful contemplations. However, after a small laugh at Hinata straining against Lev’s hold in order to attack Inuoka, he turned back to Tsukishima in order to continue their rally.

Instead of Tsukishima returning the ball in a nice arc like Akaashi knew that the other boy was capable of, the ball instead knocked his sport goggles askew, and he was promptly shaken out of his reverie. With a quick wipe across his mouth, Tsukishima barely registered his surroundings, even as Suzumeda announced that the evening meal was ready. As Akaashi followed where Tsukishima had been staring, he smiled, as he remembered those days before Bokuto knew how he felt.

* * *

“I don’t remember him being this annoying last year.” Inuoka complained over his rice bowl.

Lev tried to chime in with his opinion, but all he accomplished was spraying Shibayama with some rice from his overstuffed mouth.

Akaashi looked faintly disgusted at how quickly Lev was eating, before he turned to ignore the middle blocker. “They just need a push in the right direction. Force them to spend some time together, alone.” He looked at his own bowl of rice and faintly smiled, remembering when Konoha locked him and Bokuto in their own equipment room. He blushed as he drifted towards the times where they willingly locked themselves into the furthest, darkest corner of the room, and as Bokuto hiked up Akaashi’s shirt, he—

“I have an idea.”

The three Nekoma second years turned sharply around, intent on every word coming out of Akaashi’s mouth.

“Well—” Akaashi wiggled in place excitedly as he met Inuoka’s semi-feral gaze—“It starts with the third gym equipment room…”

* * *

It was nearing supper time the next day, and Lev’s stomach grumbled on cue. It was loud, it was obnoxious, and it startled even a zoned out Tsukishima from his hungry stare directly at Hinata. Akaashi used the almost-planned interruption, and stated, “I’m feeling hungry too. Let’s clean up and be first in line for food.”

The Fukurodani captain started directing the others naturally, indicating that Hinata and Tsukishima should be the ones to disassemble the net while he gathered stray balls, and the Nekoma players should mop the floor. Inuoka smiled conspiratorially towards Lev as he raced to the back corner of the gym, mop in hand. For once, taking the hint, Lev sped off behind him.

While mopping the back corners, Lev watched as Tsukishima and Hinata took down the net, and worked together to fold it. He even raised up on his tiptoes to see if his Karasuno friends’ hands brushed up against each other (which was likely, as the blushes on each of the boys' faces could probably be seen from space). He feebly batted away Inuoka’s mop handle poking into his side as he openly watched the scene unfolding before him.

Inuoka followed Lev with the mop, and as Hinata and Tsukishima each took a pole, and Tsukishima also carrying the net, Lev finally looked to the floor, straightened out his trajectory, and turned back to where the equipment room lay. He was briefly aware of Inuoka’s frantic waving behind Hinata’s back, and before Lev could move faster, Hinata and Tsukishima had entered their soon-to-be prison. Akaashi moved to close the door behind them, and smirked at pounding behind him.

Lev’s legs were long, but Inuoka was ever so slightly faster, so even though Inuoka was a little bit further away from the door, they made it to the equipment room at roughly the same time. Hinata was loudly yelling “Let me out!” at the same time that Tsukishima was cursing a blue streak and calling Akaashi names that weren’t necessarily physically possible.

Frustrated, Inuoka yelled back, “Just fuck and get it over with!”

The ruckus on the other side of the door quieted almost immediately, and Lev heard an almost inaudible, “Bastards,” before he took his position and barricaded the door. 

Before leaving the gym with Akaashi, Inuoka turned to Lev. "Five hundred yen says we catch them in the act." 

Lev blinked. "That seems a little low." In their normal routine of trading allowances by betting on stupid shit, Inuoka had never gone below a thousand. "Fine," he agreed. 

Inuoka answered with a smile, and he loped across the gym to join Akaashi. 

It was eerily still on the other side of the door minus a loud 'thump' about two minutes into their imprisonment, and as Lev contemplated the serendipity of his noisy gut (he wasn't actually that hungry), his leg started shaking with restlessness. His hands itched to open the door, but he managed to curb that impulse by clasping and releasing his fingers in quick succession. His mind flitted towards that weird idea about a dead cat and a box, and while it was still as confusing as when Kuroo first explained it to him, a small part of him (the single, intelligent part, as Yaku would say) couldn't help but think that it applied here. 

It was for his friends' benefit, he thought, knowing that giving them more time meant a higher chance at success, even if it meant he was out money due to the bet.

By the time that Inuoka returned ten minutes later, Lev faintly whined as he writhed on the floor. 

"They're serving food for real right now." Inuoka looked at the closed door. "How are they doing?" 

"They've been quiet." Lev pursed his lips as he turned his head towards the door he was leaning against. "Too quiet." 

Inuoka's eyes gleamed. "They're going to need to keep their strength up, and get some food into them." Inuoka offered his hand to Lev to help him off the ground, and before the taller boy could steady himself on his feet, Inuoka opened the door. 

The light from the gym illuminated the previously dark interior, revealing the scene before them. Hinata and Tsukishima had fully rounded third base, and looked to be going for home if the speed of the hands in each other's shorts was any indication. Lev's jaw went slack at both the sight of horny teenagers in front of him and how little time it took for them to get this way. 

Inuoka cleared his throat, breaking the scene in front of him. In Hinata's haste to separate from Tsukishima and tuck himself into his shorts, he lost his balance, falling into a rack and dislodging some badminton poles in the process. Meanwhile, Lev marveled at Tsukishima's considerably red face, which was quite a feat with how tented his shorts were. 

Clapping Lev on the shoulder, Inuoka declared, "You owe me five hundred yen." Turning to the mortified pair, he said, "Food's ready, if you want some." Inuoka made his way to the cafeteria. 

As Tsukishima buried his face in his hands, Lev let out the barking laugh that had been building inside of him. He followed his teammate out of the gym door after quickly swapping shoes.

When Tsukishima and Hinata finally appeared for food, looking decidedly more disheveled than simple blocking practice would suggest, both Lev and Inuoka did their best to subtly watch the pair. About halfway through his rice bowl, Lev noticed the soft caresses of hands lingering a moment too long, and the loud teasing by the noisy Karasuno third years. Shibayama jabbed Lev in the ribs and hissed, "You're being too obvious." 

Taking chopsticks to food, Lev couldn't help but think that this was the best five hundred yen he'd ever spent. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to come scream with me about HQ in general, when I'm not on Discord, I'm found on [Twitter. ](https://twitter.com/littlemisstpk?s=09) I live off of validation.


End file.
